Assertiveness Workshops

Difficult people come in all shapes and sizes – wherever you work or interact with people, you are going to come across difficult people. Sometimes you can simply avoid or walk away from these people, which is an ideal outcome. Othertimes, such as family, friends, work colleagues, bosses etc. it is not always appropriate to walk away.

How do you remain assertive in a difficult situation? Having a few strategies to cope with them is a great starting point. I’ll give you a few here that I teach in my Assertiveness Workshop Reading Cirencester Slough…

• Listen and understand – I mean really listen and ensure that you feedback to them your understanding of what they are talking about
• Use their name – this can really help to be able to get a word in edgeways…
• Identify their emotion – “Sue, you seem really upset about this” or “John, I can tell you are angry about this”
• Remember that most of the time their anger at you is only temporary – they are cross about something else – either something you have done, or they see you as a representing the person or company who have done something

Some interesting sites:

Leeds University

This is a great question – how are confidence and assertiveness linked? Let’s explain the two things first:

• Confidence is a feeling you get inside that helps you to overcome your fears. It is also how your self-esteem shows up in your body language etc.
• Assertiveness is about how you communicate with others and behave. The ability to choose your behaviour in any situation.

So is it possible to be assertive without having confidence? The answer is probably not, although you can certainly fake confidence, you are much more likely to exhibit aggressive behaviours instead. Confidence in yourself underpins your ability to behave as you choose. Your confidence of course, comes first from your self-esteem – how you feel about yourself.

In my Assertiveness Workshop Maidenhead Aylesbury Banbury I teach practical ways to improve your self-esteem and your confidence as well as skills that enable you to be assertive. Working on how you feel about yourself is the crucial first key – if you are to overcome the standard behaviours passive or aggressive that are your norm, then you must first work on your self-esteem and self-assurance.

Some interesting sites:

Plymouth University

In my Assertiveness Workshops Swindon Abingdon Gloucester I am often asked to explain passive aggressive behaviour. It’s not obvious, until you know what it is of course! Most people think it’s displaying both passive and aggressive behaviours, however that isn’t the case.

Passive Aggressive behaviour is when someone appears to be passive, yet they do aggressive things behind the scenes. For example, instead of telling you that they have a problem with something you are doing, they tell you that all is well and then go behind your back to your boss, colleagues or friends with their problems with you. In the main it is to do with a lack of ownership of their behaviours. They feel as though they are fixing things from behind the scenes, without having to take any of the responsibility for it.

In reality, most people in workplaces exhibit this kind of behaviour at one time or another – gossip is a prime example. However there are some people who operate in this way totally – sometimes they escape the radar of the boss and cause a lot of problems for others.

Assertive people, of course, rarely choose this type of behaviour – there is not really any need to behave like this. Other examples include doing something so badly that you are never asked again; saying you’ll attend a party and then developing a headache at the last minute.

Some interesting sites:

BUPA

Lets get this straight once and for all… being assertive does not mean being aggressive. This is something I teach on my Assertiveness Workshop Cheltenham High Wycombe Newbury. Aggressive people are generally very controlling people, due to their inner beliefs that they need control of people and things around them to feel secure. Assertive people are people who do not need this control of people and things around them because they have control of themselves.

Balancing aggressive and assertive behaviours can be a tricky challenge. When you start out looking to improve your skills, especially if you are prone to being a passive person, then the tendency is to swing too far the other way. Think about the aggressive people you know, what do you think of them? They are not often liked by many.

So how do you do it then? How do you get a balance of assertive and aggressive behaviour? Well actually it’s pretty simple – you don’t. There are very few instances in your life where aggressive behaviour will be appropriate (hopefully).  The balance comes from acting from a place of self-control. There is no need to be passive or aggressive when you act from self-control.

Some interesting sites:

Dictionary.com

There is a definite art to successfully asserting yourself. In the vast majority of cases, people wrongly assume that asserting yourself is making other people bend to your will or do things they don’t want to do. This is probably why most people are frightened to assert themselves.

The bottom line is that asserting yourself means being true to yourself. It includes compromise, discussion, listening, understanding and a whole bunch of skills that can easily be learned. If you are to successfully assert yourself, it’s likely that you’ll need to attend an Assertiveness Workshop Oxford Bicester Witney. These can help to teach you the skills that you will need to learn to become assertive.

There is a big misnomer that being assertive means being aggressive in some way. In fact, it’s really not true – truly assertive people are able to choose their behaviour, based on the situation they are approaching. There are some instances where assertive people will behave passively and indeed aggressively, however they are completely in charge of their behaviour rather than simply reacting to the circumstances.

Some interesting sites:

Wikipedia